Judged By You (Judge Me Series) Read online

  I felt so embarrassed right now, I was about to have sex with this man. Well part of me hoped anyway. I stood rubbing my arms with my hands, it was getting cold, and I was shivering, probably from the fact that I was tired and strung out.

  “I’ll see you out then”. What else do you say in this situation? Thanks for the major turn on and leaving me soaking? Fuck I needed an orgasm.

  “I’m sorry, it wasn’t meant to be like this.” He said throwing me an apologetic smile.

  We walked down stairs and to the front door. I held it open and was lost for what to say. So I just thanked him for stopping by. It was out before I could stop it, and it sounded ridiculous.

  “I’m sorry I have to run, I will call you ok?” He said as he walked outside.

  “Okay.” I gave him a small reassuring smile.

  He turned and kissed me on the cheek. “Bye.” He said as he was running to his car.

  Things just went from crazy to crazier. I needed to go to church and ask for forgiveness cause I was about to lose my shit. God help anyone in my path today. I was suddenly shattered. I wanted to sleep all day and not wake up until I had to work. And that is what I did.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  I woke at four that afternoon. I missed a day of lectures, I was so thankful for the sleep. I didn’t even dream. I went to work that afternoon to find out that our cafe was being bought out by another and that I wouldn’t have a job after today. It was a last minute decision the owners made, and we all suffered. The new owners had their own staff and didn’t want to keep any of us. I was disappointed. But lucky I had enough money saved that I could get by for a little while until I found something else. I thought it might be a blessing in disguise because I had exams in less than 4 weeks and I needed to study.

  Once my shift had finished, the owners gave us a check with two weeks’ worth of wages inside and apologised continuously. I bid them farewell and wished them luck on their new adventures. I arrived home and found Nicole sitting out the front.

  “Hey what you doing out here in the cold?” She looked terrible

  “I think I may have stuffed up Savannah.” She spoke so softly. She looked devastated. And ready to ball her eyes out at any moment.

  “What’s going on? You’re scaring me Nicole.” I sat next to her placing my arm around her.

  “I think I’m pregnant.” Nicole said it so quietly I had to lean in to hear. I even asked her to repeat it.

  “I didn’t hear you.” I said in shock.

  “You did hear me. What the fuck am I going to do?” Nicole put her head in her hands and started to cry. Out of everyone I knew she was the strongest. I had no idea what to say to make it any better.

  “What did Stan say?”

  “He doesn’t know yet. I can’t keep it Savannah. My parents would kill me, I’m not married. It was an accident. I forgot to take my pill for a few days and didn’t think anything of it; I have been on the pill for like….. Ten years. And we only had sex once that month, so I thought it was impossible. You know what people say about being on the pill long term.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks as she spoke.

  “You have to think about what Stan wants to. Do you think he will want it?” Surely Stan wouldn’t make her get rid it, he wanted marriage and kids.

  “I don’t know Savannah. I just… I….. I’m scared.” She grabbed my hand, holding it so tight her knuckles went white.

  “I’m here, always. We will work this out. Please, just talk to Stan. He needs to know.” I said giving her a reassuring squeeze with my hand.

  “Okay. So what was with you last night?” Nicole just had to ask.

  And I was actually more than willing to find out what she thought. I explained about Sarah drinks and Damon and that “tramp” as I labelled her. Then him busting in last night, and the fact that I almost had sex with him. Well I wanted to anyway. And then that phone call that shut the whole operation down, and how I felt so trashy afterwards. I have expected money to exchange hands.

  “You go girl, you’ve taken my advice.” Nicole said with a smile

  “Yeah something like that.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “He hasn’t called me though.”

  I had checked my phone every two minutes throughout my shift hoping to see something.

  “He’s a busy man, give him time.” Nicole said standing.

  “Well I better get some rest, I’m so tired, cranky and can’t stop spewing.” She said with disgust.

  “Yeah he is busy. Anyway, you go to bed, and I will lock the house.” I said.

  “Thanks Savannah. And thank you for the talk.” Nicole winked as she walked away.

  “Just think about what I said Nicole ok?” I remembered a girl I went to school with, she gave the baby up for adoption. It killed her, last I heard she was in and out of a mental health facility. I shook that thought and went in after Nicole. She just nodded and walked towards her room.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  Several days passed, and it was finally Friday. The day I had to hand in my assignment. Which was finished, thankfully. I hadn’t heard from Damon since the night he ran out because of work. I had called once and thought I sounded extremely desperate. But I hadn’t thought about him as much lately being busy with my assignment and Nicole.

  Derek and Angel were coming over for dinner tonight, and Nicole was cooking a massive roast. She was an excellent cook. She still hadn’t told Stan; she said every time she went to, he would talk about something so anti baby it stopped her. I walked from my last lecture with Sarah; she was talking about her romantic weekend away with the Doctor. He sounded like a true romantic. Sarah suddenly stopped in her tracks pulling my arm.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, holding my arm where she grabbed me.

  “Isn’t that the hottie we saw at the Chinese place?” She said pointing

  I looked up and saw Damon standing beside his car with a smile on his face. He was dressed in black jeans and a tank. His muscles were generous and bulky. I remembered the feel of his six pack on my hand and instinct made me run my left hand fingers over the palm of my right hand.

  “Yep.” I said to Sarah with a smile of my own.

  “I will catch you later.” I smiled at her before I walked towards him.

  “Hi” I said shyly

  “Hi you.” He said before leaning over and kissing my cheek.

  “You're not in a suit.” I said eying his sleeveless tank.

  He laughed “No suit, I’ve been so busy lately sorry for not calling. But I have tonight off, so I was kind of hoping we could have a bite to eat.”

  I thought for a moment and opened my mouth to say yes until I remembered our guests for dinner tonight.

  “I’m so sorry, I have plans with friends. We are doing this dinner thing at our house.” I said shaking my head at the thought of the crazy conversations and the fact that I have to see Angel the hooker.

  A thought suddenly hit me.

  “Why don’t you come over for dinner?” I said to him with a smile.

  He thought for a moment, and then smiled.

  “Sounds good, what time and what do I bring?”

  “Yourself, about seven!”

  “Sure. See you then beautiful.” He kissed my cheek, and we parted ways.

  Chapter 4

  Once I got home I found Nicole in the kitchen already.

  “I invited someone to dinner I hope you don’t mind.” I said as she counted out places at the table.

  “Did you finally hear from Damon today?” Nicole asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Yes he was waiting for me after class today it was such a surprise.” I said trying to explain myself. I had complained to Nicole for the past three days about how I hadn’t heard from him since our night of hot and heavy fondling.

  “Well then, I think we should set another place.” Nicole smiled.

  I was so worried about introducing Damon to Derek. Derek can be so protective of me sometimes; he has be
en in my life since I was five. I also hoped Angel wore some decent clothes tonight instead of looking like a hooker. That was my worst fear.

  “Is Stan coming?” I had to ask.

  Nicole just looked at me and didn’t say a word. It was hard for her to have to tell him something like this. I told her to at least tell her parents, which I take she hadn’t. I know her mother would be here in an instant to be by her side whether she approved or not. Nicole’s parents were strict, and they did have high hopes for her, but they loved her and would never let her go through anything alone.

  “You should ring him and invite him Nic.” I waited for the knockdown response, but she just continued to set the table.

  We made sure we had enough food cooking, and I cleaned up the kitchen once we made one hell of a mess. I had put a few bottles of wine in the chiller along with beer for the guys. Once everything was almost finished I went upstairs and had a shower. I put on a pair of jeans and a light pink sweater. It was overcast outside and normally when it became this cold it would rain. We hadn’t seen rain in a while so it would be gratifying.

  I was getting my shoes on, when Nicole came in. “Stephen is on the phone Savannah. He sounds upset.” She said with concern.

  I went down stairs and picked up the receiver.

  “Hey you.”

  “Hey Sav.” He said in a voice that didn’t sound his own.

  “What’s wrong? Is it Stephen?” I couldn’t hide the anxiety in my voice.

  “Can’t I ring you?” He almost shouted at me. When he spoke I moved the phone away from my ear. Something was going on, and it worried me.

  “Yes of course you can. It’s just….. I….. I miss you Stephen. You would tell me if you weren’t okay, or something was wrong, wouldn’t you?.” I turned to Nicole who handed me a glass of wine. At the same time, the doorbell rang. Nicole mouthed that she would get the door and not to worry.

  “God Savannah, give me a fucking break. I thought it would be good to hear your voice okay. Don’t fucking worry about it.” He was distressed I could hear it in his voice.

  “Stephen, please, calm down.” I hated it.

  He did this once before, and I didn’t sleep until I saw him still alive. It wasn’t like I could talk to him every day, and seeing him once a week wasn’t enough. When I turned I saw Derek, Angel and Damon standing with Nicole in the living room. I gave them a wave with a smile. Damon was wearing his jeans and sleeveless shirt still, but he had a black leather jacket on. He looked smoking.

  “Derek’s here Stephen, do you want to say hello?” I was hoping Derek could work out Stephens’s problem because I sure as hell couldn’t.

  “Chuck him on then.” Stephen snapped.

  I covered the receiver and walked to where everyone was standing. I handed the phone to Derek and mouthed that it was Stephen than leaned my head towards the door way so Derek would go out of ear shot. He nodded and excused himself and took the phone.

  “Hey Bro.” He said as he was walking away.

  I turned back around and gave Angel a small smile and kissed Damon on the cheek. Angel was wearing a little black dress with bright pink fish net stockings and high black heels. I have no idea how the hell she could walk in them. I swear she was 2 inches off hitting the roof. Nicole shot me a look from the kitchen when I turned and gave her a look. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

  “You look lovely Savannah.” Damon said with a smile.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself.” I said with a teasing nudge.

  Angel had excused herself to go outside and have a cigarette, so Damon, Nicole and I stood in the kitchen making small talk about her cooking skills. I turned to see Derek with the phone in his hand.

  “He wants to talk to you again Savannah.”

  When Derek said my full name, I knew something wasn’t right.

  “Hey.”

  “I’m sorry for the way I reacted on Sunday Sav, I heard your boyfriend is there for dinner. Must be serious.” At that point, I couldn’t believe a) he was saying sorry, and b) Derek ratted me out.

  “Hey that’s okay. And he isn’t my boyfriend.” I said turning away, so no one was in ear shot to hear my words. I started to walk to the door, and peered out at Angel. She was remarkably pretty, and despite my negative feelings I have towards her, she made Derek happy.

  “I’ve….I…. I have to go. Take care Sav.” Stephen let out a puff of breath.

  “You take care, I love you Stephen.” I had to hold back those darn tears that were forcing their way out of my eyes.

  “Yeah you too…..” And like that he was gone.

  I walked back to the bench, and all eyes were on me as I put the phone on the dock.

  “Why are you all staring at me like that?” God I hated that. Way to make me feel like a freak.

  “What’s up with Stephen?” Nicole said in a curious voice. I shot her a look that I hoped would mute her.

  “Just calling to say hi.” I said as I picked up the bowl of vegetables and headed to the table.

  I grabbed Derek’s arm and made him walk with me to the table.

  “What’s going on Derek?” I whispered so no one would hear. I looked over my shoulder to make sure no one was near us. But Damon had a curious look on his face. Great!

  “Nothing.” He said without thinking about his answer.

  “Bullshit you're hiding something Derek.” I bit out.

  “What are you hiding sexy legs.” Angel snaked her arms around his waist joining our conversation.

  “Nothing baby face.” He replied and smiled at me.

  Yuck. The site of her trying to molest him made me want to reach a little bit.

  “You okay Savannah?” I turned to find Damon standing behind me.

  “Oh…. Yeah …. Of course. I’m glad you’re here.” I said, stroking his arm, which was covered with sexy leather.

  Damon grabbed my elbow, leaned in and kissed my forehead. When he pulled away I saw his beautiful smile, it made me feel so at ease. I vowed that I would drop the Stephen thought, and deal with that tomorrow. I excused myself from Damon and headed to the kitchen to help Nicole. The roast was massive, it looked and smelt divine. She got her cooking skills from her mother. We finished carving the meat, much to Derek’s disgust his thoughts were, “men should do that not women,” Nicole always replied to that oh so sweetly “well no use asking you then hey,”

  She poked her tongue at him, and he was speechless. I started to laugh, and Damon laughed too. Angel looked like something had died in her mouth at Nicole’s comment.

  Conversation flowed over dinner. Damon and Derek talked about fishing, which I hated. Nichole and I chatted about the latest fashions and shoes. It wasn’t exactly my interest, but I couldn’t talk about what I wanted to in front of company.

  “Has Damon seen your car Sav?” Derek asked once their conversation moved to cars.

  “Yes. But not the bike.” I said with a wink in his direction.

  “Her dodge is sweet. Makes a man weak Sav.” Derek loved that car just as much as I did. He always joked about stealing it.

  “Damon has been in it. He says I drive like a grandma.” I said with a chuckle remembering his words.

  “Ha, you haven’t seen that girl in a cop chase then”. Derek said before I could kick him under the table.

  Nicole burst out laughing, and Damon had a “do tell” expression on his face. I tried to avoid the questions by asking how work was for Angel.

  “Oh perfect babe, you know,” Was the reply I got. “Have you found another job yet gorgeous?” Angel asked, chewing loudly on her meat.

  “Not yet.” I replied. I had looked at a few websites for work, but nothing caught my eye.

  “What happened to your job?” Damon asked, curious.

  “The owners sold the cafe, and we all got let go.” I said

  “What kind of work are you looking for?” He said putting his fork and knife down on his plate.

  “Something appealing. I was thinking about ap
plying for an internship.” I replied.

  Damon just nodded and picked up his utensils again. Nicole excused herself from the table and walked rather quickly towards the downstairs bathroom. Morning sickness is not what they say. I have seen it morning, afternoon and night. Last night I was holding her hair while she puked in the garden bed. Maybe those flowers might finally bloom now. I excused myself a few minutes later and went to check on Nicole.

  “You okay sugar?”

  She looked awful. She was sitting on the floor with her head up against the wall. She was pale and sickly looking.

  “I don’t think I can handle this constant spewing let alone anything else.” Nicole said while wiping the excess fluid from around her mouth.

  “You don’t have to worry about that diet now.” It was a joke, but Nicole didn’t see the funny side. She shot me a look that scared me.

  “You coming back out?” I said getting up of the cold floor.

  “Yeah give me a minute.” Nicole said in return.

  I walked out and started to clear the table. Derek was asking Damon about his “wheels”. I wondered if Derek would ever give up street talk. The kitchen wasn’t as clean as it was to start with, so I started to stack the dishwasher and wash the items that wouldn’t fit.

  “I have a feeling your friend is sussing me out.” Damon said putting his arms around my waist. He kissed my hair.

  “I’ve known him for years, so yeah… he will do that.” I said laughing. It was good to have him touch me; I had missed that for the past four days. I wondered what he had been doing. Work must be busy for him.

  “Hey I want to talk to you about your internship.” He said turning me around.

  “It was just a thought, and I have to find one first.” I said drying my hands.

  “Well, that’s the thing. You might not have to.” He said with a smile.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, you can come work at my company. We have an internship program and it will be a thrilling experience. You can work and learn. Less time at college.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying.

  “I… umm… thanks, but I don’t know.” I didn’t even know what we were. Whether we were dating, friends with benefits or kissing benefits. I was confused.